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heres some golf ones off the white steel website...

· I’ve had brushes with death that were closer than that

· You walk round the green any more and youre going to need hiking boots

· Should I call 911 it looks like ur choking

· You know what the best joke in golf is? Your short game

· Nice touch, Hammer

· Come on, im running out of fingers here

· One more putt and you get a free toaster

· You know what helped me with my putting, hitting the ball in the hole

· You know what the problem was there, your ball didn’t go into the hole

· You know what they call that type of putt in Scotland? Horrible

· I hope ur better at orderiong drinks than you are at putting

· You know what ur doing wrong? Playing golf

· The problem appears to be that you standing to close to the ball.. after uve hit it

· You putt like I sing opera, terribly

· You know whats wrong with ure putting? Ure not good

· In case I don’t remind u later, I like vodka martinis

· Can you hand me some sunscreen, it looks like were gonna be here a while

· I must be dehydrated because I hallucinated that u just missed that putt

  • 3 weeks later...

Golf related one:

Ask a partner who thinks he is too good to pick up a flag how much the flagstick weighs. when they look at you funny just say you might try picking one up so you can see.

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